For Scott

Some of us have friends that will be there for them through thick and thin, friends who you can totally confide in, friends that will help you and offer their advice and support... the following conversations took place with a friend that is none of the above...

DS: I don't know what to do, I think I am going to lose my job and just don't know what to do.
ME: really, oh man that sucks. I am sorry to hear that. Can you give me a ride to the bank at lunch, I don't want to put the extra miles on my benz.
DS: But I am afraid I am going to be broke and have a family to support.
ME: (working on a calculator) If I sell my house, cash in my stocks... this is what I would have.
DS: But what does that have to do with me.
ME: I have this.... I have that... (still clicking away on the calculator) and then I get an inheritence for another 80K so I will really have this, oh, and I still get the money from my grandmothers house, so really I have this much now.

DS: I am getting a divorce and losing everything that I had
ME: me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me
DS: ????
ME: me me me me me me me (taking calculator out again and clicking away) me me me
DS: ????
ME: I have this, this and this... me me me me me me me
DS: ????
ME: (clicking away still on the calculator) and after the stock splits, I get this, this and this... me me me me

DS: you wanna have lunch today?
ME: I got up at 3am on Saturday to play golf.
DS: Lunch, do you want to eat it?
ME: I go to the golf course early so I can get a tee time early for the next week too.
DS: Food, Comer??? SI'?
ME: I get there early, have my starbucks and smoke. me me me me me me me me me me
DS: ?????
ME: I just added a calculator to my golf bag so I can tally what I have at any given moment on the course.
DS: ????
ME: I shot an 86, all while holding a cigarette in one hand and a coffee in the other and using a calculator to see how much I have in the bank after each hole... me me me me me me


Thank you for being there ME... I still love you.