The Big Debate

So I was watching bit's and pieces of the debate last night while changing the channels during commercials of Reno 911 and My Name Is Earl. I really like those shows, especially Reno 911. Thomas Lennon and Robert Garant are the guys that created that show and they are amazing writers and actors. Just kudos to them for "getting it" It's rare that I use the word Kudos. Just a funny word, isn't it... Kudos. I think it is also a breakfast bar. Not sure, if you say Kudos to someone, are you telling them breakfast bar. I remember having one a few years ago. They tasted like powdered dung. Just make sure if you eat one, not to make any plans that day except for sitting on the toilet. Oh the humanity...
What the hell was I getting at... Oh, the debate. I really like Joe Biden and think he makes a lot of sense.. last night he just seemed to be phoning it in. But that Sarah Palin... wow, is she a looker. Like something out of a lens crafters catalog. First off, I forgot that Alaska was a state, so no big deal. I was kindly corrected. But what they hell do they have in the water that produced that babe. I stopped listening for a few minutes and had that same dream that Bradley had in Fast Times about Linda when she climbed out of the pool, except instead of Palin taking off her top, she took off the glasses... grrrrr
It really just seemed like to ex-spouses arguing nicely in front of the children. Talking smack with a polite smile on their faces.. ugh.... So I switched back to Reno 911 and they were questioning Terry, the gay guy on the rollerblades. Man that was funny...
When the commercial hit, I went back to the debate only to have the same Brad/Linda flashback again. Okay, here is a good trivia question... can you name the song that was playing as Linda came out of the pool in her red bikini?? and part two of the question, what did she need in the bathroom?

Let's see what your answers are...

The problem with the dog.

Holy Crap!! I am so looking forward to this weekend just so I can sleep in. I have gotten up extra early every day this week and missing out on quality sleep time. Jamie had to get up early today to do a shirt project for her work (she is a teacher) I don't know how she got up this morning, or what time she started, but she was watching the news and doing her thing by 6am. If it wasn't for our dog having to go drop a duece, I would still be sleeping. So that brings me to my point, apparently the human race can play god and cross breed dogs that would never have been combined in the normal world. We have Cheagles, Puggles, and a slew of unnatural animal breedings here in the states. I guess we as a people like to make things up just because we think they are cute. Most of these half breeds are really cool looking, but the one thing we are over looking is.... if we can cross breed these animals so easily, couldn't we breed a dog with no anus or pee hole? I mean really, does the dog have to relieve itself. Can't we come up with the peeless and poopless dog. I am going to check into it and see what I can do at the home lab.
I want to teach our cats to use the toilet to do their business so I don't have to scoop the litter box anymore. But I know if I succeed, I will stumble out of bed one night to go to the bathroom and there will be my cat on the seat, reading my Maxim, and asking me to shut the door behind me. I just can't have that...
Anyway, it's early and that is the only rant I have now.
Happy Thursday everyone.

Jesus' Coffee Cup

Now I am not a religious fanatic at all.. I know I can use some religion in my life, but I found this article on MSN today and it look as if they found Jesus' coffee cup
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26972493/?GT1=43001
The inscription on the cup is translated as Christ the Magician, but I took ancient languages in community college and I have translated the engraving on the mug to read "Worlds Greatest Boss"
They also found a fake oscar statue for "Best God"
I believe that he had some good friends at work that got him these things to keep around his desk.
That's pretty cool.

The Nations Economy

I just looked at my savings account. It appears that I am part of the economical problem in this country. So how do I play a part in helping the economy... Shit, I have no idea. I did get a salad from Panera for lunch with a green tea. I decided to get green tea becuase I thought it was better for the earth. Turns out it is just an asian tea. Duh... The salad was really good, it was their sesame chicken salad. I am eating healthier and really enjoyed it. After all, I did go running this morning and didn't want to load up on any crap. There seems to be more places to eat crappy foods around here and hard to find something that is good for you. I suppose I could just pack a lunch, but who has time to do that anymore.
Anyway, what the hell was I talking about before, oh yeah.. the economy. I heard something about that recently. I believe it was a news report saying we are all fucked 9 ways to Sunday, but due to the bailout the 9 is now 9 million.
Here is a great idea, take out all your money from the bank and put it under your mattress. Sure your sealy posture pedic probably doesn't offer the best interest rates, but it won't lose it when you are not looking either.
Man this is a good salad. I just got a bite of chicken,sesame seeds, mandarin orange and almonds in one bite... wow... very tangy.

The Boise Public Restroom Problem

When we think of Boise, Idaho.. we think of clean air, nice people and potatoes. But there is a dark secret that haunts the residents of this peaceful community. Something so terrible, it has the kind people scared to leave their homes. Yes... the lack of Ass Gaskets in public restrooms.
This is a common issue in third world countries, but to happen in Boise, the nations 24th largest producer of petrolium based products.
What is a person to do when they are out enjoying a fine meal at a local establishment and has to use the restroom. The horror on that persons face when they are smacked right in the face with the lack of sanitary products in said restroom. Yes, that person could just wipe down that seat with a handful of TP, but is that just moving the germs around and creating a cespool of bacteria.
"What about the children" local resident Nicole Davis cried as she was wisked away by local officials for her rantings at diner this past Sunday. Yes... What about the children? Will the Boise city council act on this horrifying trend?
I called on City Council member Vern Bisterfeldt to find out what is going to be done to protect the public from the lack of Ass Gaskets in public restrooms and Vern offered the following statement..."Who the fuck is this... are you serious. Did Al put you up to this?"
No Vern, Al had nothing to do with this. The public has a right to sanitary pooping conditions and nothing is being done.
I have tried to reach Al for a comment, but the Boise phonebook is silly with Al's and it will take some time to dig up more information. For now, the good people of Boise, and rebel-rauser, Nicole Davis will have to use the squat method when having to relieve themselves publicly.
More to follow as the story develops.

Meagan Fox - part 2

Okay, I brought my Maxim in to show one of my co-workers who Meagan Fox was. He did not remember her from Transformers. It is now 10:15, I gave him the magazine at 8:00am and still have not seen him. I think I need to go out at lunch today and re-purchase the magazine.
I may not have mentioned this before, but wow... she is really good looking. Almost too good looking. Like maybe she was created by some lab, like the one Jessica Alba and Anna Kournikova was made at. I am assuming this lab is at some secret location in the base of a mountain, the kind where they usually take UFO's and alien bodies to. I have a conspiracy theory that the US Government has captured extra terrestrial intelligence and reverse engineered the contraption and used it to create the following things: Brad Pitt, Jessica Alba, Anna Kournikova, Meagan Fox, George Clooney, Carrot Top (no way he is human) the platypus, Andrew Ridgely (the other dude from Wham) The Prius, the words Vente, Grande & Tall, and possibly the Mc Rib sandwich. I have a laundry list of things that I do not believe were created with our current technology and will list them all at a later date.

Happy Hump Day

So here we are on Hump Day. I was forced out of bed this morning at 5:15 to go jogging. It was a nice way to start the day... oh who am I kidding, I was balls deep in a great dream and had no ambition to get out of bed. We get outside witht the dog and start our morning run through the neighborhood and all I am thinking is how I really wish we were passing a starbucks. We have to train for The Race For The Cure (please see previous post) I have seen pictures of this "race" and it does not look all that hard. I do promise that I will not be carrying a balloon though, and I am not sold on the ribbon thing either. So now I am sitting in my office trying to figure a way to pull a Costanza and nap under my desk.
Well, I hope everyone has a great Hump Day.